It got personal

When I was younger, the attempts of quantifying the feeling of non-existence kept me up at night. It frightened me to be nothing. These same thoughts, as my stance on death has grown, have transformed from fear into curiosity.

I feel that people tend to view existence one-dimensionally. Today seems a time where everyone is just upset or disappointed or sad. Everyone’s busy, nobody has any money, and there’s far less time to be social and luxurious. But what are we upset about?

I tend to balance out my depressing thoughts quite well these days. It tends to galvanize me to think about what it means to be alive. This level of being, this level of consciousness is unmatched. This is a phenomenal gift. Stepping outside of ourselves can be a great medicine. It allows us to take in our surroundings. It all just seems so crazy to me. I never hear it mentioned that things are the way they are in this world because humans created them. Before we got here, there was nothing. But think of the abstract accomplishments we’ve brought! I remember sitting at a diner with a friend, watching everything go by, and thinking about how we designed a system like this. We built the diner, hired employees and chefs, and people go to the diner to eat and pay for food, and there are certain behavioral rules that must be followed, and it’s all so understood and mechanical.

Looking at the way things are about humanity as phenomenal abstractions of the universe allows me to do two things. The first is to appreciate, on not simply a conscious level but a metaphysical level, my existence. The second is to recognize the miraculous advancements and value the current state of humanity as well as recognizing and valuing the abstract energies underneath as being a more natural and desired state of affairs at the same time.

Some of you may consider me distant, but it’s really just the way I approach things. I value everything around me more than you know, but ultimately live for myself; not out of selfishness, but because it’s the only sure thing I can live for and feel right about one hundred percent of the time. I step and breathe and smile and jump, shivering with energy, rolling like thunder through fractions of space and time, living and dying energetically with each step. I don’t fear death because it’s the death of the human body and not the death of me. Existence is occurring all around us in many different ways; through memories and methods, through sound and light. Beings of the cosmos, we were, are, and will be until the disciples of the black hole sweep through us.

The next time you’re feeling down, think of yourself as the highest messenger of the complexes of creation. We are BEINGS. Do not overlook our connections to the humble world around us. Walk with the fires of the human soul.

I–it got too personal there, didn’t it?