brain stuff

I think my brain is trying to tell me something. Ever experienced that? I never remember dreams except for these occasional awful nightmares in which I suffer this extreme emotion that I never have felt before. I won’t go into detail (you’d have to be pretty special for me to do that for you; or just standing with me at the right time under a dreary sun) but I have often thought about certain scenarios which would push my mind to its threshold. I’ve lived a comparatively simple and worry-free life to those of others, and have had times where I’ve thought ostracized and even limited in thought because these areas of extremity have been under-developed. It makes me think terrible things but also fascinating things, putting my brain in these deep waters, and trying to understand the sciences of my behavior.

Even still, I cannot help but feel that psychology and philosophy, while important and interesting, seem to frequently lose out to circumstance. We try to map things out and understand them, but all too often we find ourselves dancing in the unknown. Life is only predictable at a certain level. My instincts are very weak, though, because of my habitual thinking over every action I take. I do wish I had more creative instincts. But then, perhaps thought IS the instinct.

Perhaps my brain desires strength in this areas.

And perhaps, on a deeper note, I desire somebody to talk to these things about.